My heart has been ripped out.

Unfortunately my mother has become ill and it necessitates me to return to lend a hand in looking after her. When we are growing up our parents look after, care and nurture us, it is a small thing to ask that we should do some caring for them as they age. The flight is booked for Wednesday morning, by Wednesday 16.20, I will be at Heathrow. Oooo excellent looking forward to the coach back to Oxford.

Each day has been a joy for me, the cold of China, snow on the road , the searing heat of the deserts, the frozen toes, the frozen nose, the lack of water, the early mornings, the beautiful sunrises, the sunsets, the mountains, the lakes, the friends I have met, and the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the………………………….

I have met oh so many people of like minds who have encouraged and supported.  Ridden with me, we have thrived off each other’s dreams. Knowing that what we are doing really is an adventure of a lifetime.

Maybe I am destined not to ever be out of UK for more than a year. If I had not been knocked off in June 2011 I would be finishing my trip now.

Obviously by going back to the UK it will break the continuum and if I try to cycle round the world again, I will once again, have to start at the beginning. Third time lucky, maybe. Seldom do the gods allow a 3rd bite at the apple.  Seldom do all aspects come together, money, time available, incentive, desire……

Thank you Thank You Thank you to everyone who has helped and supported me and the Multiple Sclerosis charity – Does that mean I have to give all the money back that I have raised as I have returned early.

Guys at Zappis I hope to be with you on a Saturday very soon (After the 6 Nations, let’s get priorities right.) And I need to get a suitable bike.

OH GOD I MIGHT HAVE TO GET A JOB! (I have not worked for 4 or 5 years now) Having said all this there is a slight possibility that I may resume in the near future, but I’m not holding my breath.

The next ‘I’m sleeping here tonight’ spot will be from Oxford.

I cannot describe the feeling I have in the pit of my stomach. If there is something that would drive me back to drinking this is probably it.
I have found something in life, a passion that I can pursue, a ‘raison d’être’, it fulfils my benevolent side; it fulfils my athletic side, it allows me to see the world through different eyes. It is what I do, it is what I am.
When asked ‘What do you do?’ I will no longer be able to say ‘I am cycling around the world’.
And I really hate that.

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15 thoughts on “My heart has been ripped out.

  1. Sorry to hear this mate but you’ve got to do what you’ve gotta do. I completely agree though with your ‘it is what I am’ statement. I’m sure a third time will be as good. All the best.

  2. What a downer. I am in Oxford. Perhaps I can buy you a drink? If you give me a better way to contact you than the blog it’d be great. I recently was asked to nominate some inspirational people for the MS Inspirational award and didn’t mention you as you are (were) not here. All my nominees were cycling based as that is how I raise money for them. Let’s drink a coffee in Zappis bike cafe. Take care. Dom

  3. Very sorry to hear mate. I hope your mother gets better and I hope that you get another chance to go around the world. I’ve been following your journey since we met in Phnom Penh and I was really looking forward to seeing your Australian leg.
    3rd time lucky!

  4. Mark, sorry about your Mum.
    You can surely carry on again where you left off. There are no ‘rules’. You are your own man. In fact Emily Chappell is doing just that. Got to Japan and will start again in Canada.
    Zappi weekend rides are am. 6 nations is p.m. Usually a good excuse for ‘recovery’, not that you will need that. Without your XX kilos of kit you might be dangerously fast on your bike now, and you are no doubt much lighter yourself.
    I look forward to seeing you in the beginners group if your membership has lapsed!:) (It’s not that slow), and I can hear some tales first hand.
    See you around.
    Jake.

  5. Sorry to hear this Mark. But that time with your mum will be precious and will inspire you for what you do next. Josyane x

  6. I am gutted for you, but realise your mum must be poorly for you to come back so quickly. Agree with josyane; this time will be precious and irreplaceable. Also agree with Jake; see no reason why you cannot carry on from where you left off; these are mitigating circumstances! Hope we can see you soon if you need a change of scene. Our thoughts are with you and hope you find your Mum in good spirits xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  7. Respect. I’m a little sad, I have to admit, thinking you won’t be out there on the road. Third time IS a charm. Have faith. Hugs for your Mum.

    Jane

  8. I am very very said that you had to stop your trip. it was very interesting to read all these posts and stories… Sorry that your mum is ill, and I hope she will be good very soon! good luck Mate, stay strong and take care!

    and maybe see you soon again :)

    big Hug!!!

    Denys

  9. Mate, this bought tears to my eyes. But the reason for returning is such a noble one, a kind one. You will be back, you will do this: MSK3, I don’t doubt it for a second. In some ways I feel jealous of you now, knowing what you, I and all the other cyclists have seen and put behind us… you get do it all again, see it all and take different roads and routes. Maybe you’ll get to ride the Pamirs or this time visit Iran… and I you might even run into me down the line again. Feel for you man, good luck with your mum. Keep the posts coming even though your off the road… for now.

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